Perkman's, Hollywood Notes (Use Me)Submitted by Perk "Grownman Perkiness" man at 2017-08-24 16:25:27 EDT
Rating: 0.28 on 7 ratings (16 reviews) (Review this item) (V)
Please listen to this while you read... Future- "Use Me".
It's surreal seeing the money up front... Challenging. I didn't exactly come from "wealth" just a middle class family trying to make it. My socio-economic status wasn't the highest or the lowest. Now, I see people speaking of millions of dollars, the way those in the "Middle class" (With the toy 3 wheel bike, snotty nosed kids, one T.V. in the house, no cable) think about 100's of dollars.
It's surreal. The fakeness is everywhere. You can't trust the pretty girl with the dimple smile, in fact, she's the one you have to stay away from. I unequivocally will not date a girl from "L.A. County", I can see the hustle in their eyes and nice booties. Tell you that "Love shit", and leave you for a producer that can "Help them", seen that happen too many times. They're always doing yoga, or some random "Health craze", which includes P-90x. These people never played a sport in their lives, and when you watch them lift, you roll your eyes. Injuries a plenty.
Now, dealing with those that are "chosen", which are the actors, singers, and those with "clout". Most are nice, some are assholes, but they all have an entourage. It's insane. I mean, they're bigger dicks than the actual talent. The weirdest thing is... they're all on drugs. All of them. I've gone into bathrooms and seen "household" names doing blow, like it's taking, "tic tac's". I ponder, "Is this place that treacherous"? I mean, people can't seem to handle this place sober.
Had a conversation with a security guard at a premiere. He's 51 years old. A writer, producer, director. He's been in it for about 30 years, nothing. I cringe when I see that. We spoke, he told me he had to "Produce, direct, and be an actor in the movie", I told him that's "A lot of hats", and lamented that he's making it impossible to sell.
The coolest thing is everyone is about "business", you could be at a premiere for their current movie, at a Bar Mitzvah, or at a funeral, business is always on their mind. I like that. The hustle never stops.
Many things here are so abstruse, and many speak with solecism. It's hard to decipher at times, but I've become a "chameleon", I wouldn't say "fake", I just acclimate to what they want to see, and I learned the lingo of a pitch.
You don't sit there and tell your movie. Nope, you name two or three movies, and use them as an amalgamation into one singular being. For instance:
Perk: "Have you seen "Citizen Kane"?"
Perk:"Have you seen "Superman Begins"?
Perk:"Well, mix those together, it's called "Citizen Bats"..
Producer/Exec: "Oh damn, I like that.. tell me more".
That's literally how you pitch if you want a meeting. Learned a lot from a two time Emmy Award winner that was trying to rob me of my current script(Fucker only offered me 100 G's, fuck that( Minimum would've been 170,000),We didn't sell, we're producing in December).
The funniest thing about this "industry" is how it changes friends and family. A lot of people that didn't believe in you, or help you, all of a sudden you find out they act, or they produce, or they have an idea for a "Film"(Everyone and their grandmother has one of these). Also those that could've helped you, but did not. They see you moving forward, now they're asking for favors.
I never forgot whom helped me, and whom did not. So I keep it that way.
Well, Uber, you can "Use me", if you want. I'll help anyone make it out here. I need more allies than enemies, it's literally "Game of Thrones" out here. I'm not lying. But if you come out here, have a skill... truly, if you cannot "write" or don't have any "money", and don't look like "Brad Pitt", well, it's going to be rough.. but if you have the dream, fight for it.
Blow me up, Uber!