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I'm Drunk! You've Been Warned! Hahahahaha!

Submitted by DaBeast at 2010-10-09 02:19:34 EDT
Rating: 0.93 on 15 ratings (15 reviews) (Review this item) (V)


Darth Famine and I are drinking tonight. I can't wait to see what he posts. Hahahaha!

Ah.

And there's Korgoth saying, "Hairy balls of the gods!" and I'm laughing. Hahahah!

Ah.

I can't stop thinking of certain things. They haunt me. Why is that? I am no longer bothered by all of the beatings/ass whuppings I got when I was a tadpole. They no longer effect me, really, but they do serve as story fodder and I use them as such.

Damn, I can't type for shit tonight. I keep having to go back and re-write. I hate that. Damnit.

My niece looks to me for all of the wrong reasons. I'm not her mother or her grandparents, I'm of the uncle persuasion, but she looks to me, and she fashions her responses based upon my own and... that's not a good thing. She isn't me. She's her. While I can indicate the path, I can not lead her down it. This makes me feel bad; almost as if I am misleading her. I point this out to her but she ignores it.

No one is so blind as are the young.

I tell her my stories, but she only hears them as historical accounts, and not as lessons to be learned. That's wrong and I continue to tell her so but she refuses to see. My experiences... I see her traveling down the same road... why won't she listen to me? Because she can't, that's why. Because she's young, and invincible, and immortal and... young.

*sigh* I recall being young, once, long, long ago.

Once, I trusted everyone. Vaguely, I recall it, when I thought they were supposed to love me, to care for me, to want me.

I was wrong.

I laughed at my mother earlier this week and threatened her with an oral copy of the history of the family, written as I had known it. I was told "well, don't write anything that embarrasses us" but... daYUM!... how to separate the embarrassment from the truth?

It can't be done.

How do I leave out the story of Uncle Grady and the Cow? How do I leave out the time that Uncle Ted herded his entire immediate family into a barn and set it on fire in order to evade the allegation of child molestation? How do I leave out the ugly parts?

I can't. They're part of why I am the way that I am. They're part of how I became the me that now exists.

Those things I saw, those things I experienced... they made me who and what I am. I can't avoid them anymore than I could gloss them over. Whether they occurred or not, I was told that they had, and those stories had an impact upon my development.

I can't ignore them.

I can't ignore myself.

From this slime, I arose. From this rancid puddle of skewed DNA, I was brought into existence. The stories that I heard, as well as those events that I lived through, shaped me, molded me, made me.

I am an amalgamation of DNA and stories. That's all that I am.

They made me what I am.

So... if I choose to write them down... if I choose to record them for posterity... if I share them...

Isn't the truth worth the pain? Or isn't it?

I know this story would cause pain. It caused me pain so I know that that pain can be transferred.

So... which makes me human? Keeping it to myself... or sharing it?

Because... I don't really know.

Do you?


I don't want to ruin anyone else's life. Mine's been ruined enough...





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Submitted by DaBeast at 2010-10-12 00:29:05 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by asmasta808 (user info) at 2010-10-11 21:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

i guess the only "right" thing for you to do is to molest your niece as expected from scum like you.

_____________________


Heh. Cute. Say that to 90% of my relatives, and they'd get boners. Another 9.8% would just get "ideas". Then there's me, that wants to put my fist through your keyboard for typing something like that at me. I may come from the slimy end of the gene puddle of piss but that doesn't mean that I relaxed into it and let myself become one with the goo. That you thought of this at all is more indicative of your ideology than mine. You must be a relation! Congratulations! You're a slime dweller! Now I won't feel bad when you follow the family example and end up raped at the bottom of the prison dogpile.

Thanks!


Submitted by asmasta808 at 2010-10-11 21:21:34 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

i guess the only "right" thing for you to do is to molest your niece as expected from scum like you.

Submitted by DaBeast at 2010-10-10 15:01:31 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2010-10-10 10:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

...
And this sentence: "No one is so blind as are the young."
This was some kind of English to Farsi to Dutch to English babelfish translation, wasn't it?
:)

__________________________________

Heh. No. That's me when I'm drunk and I'm eyeballing the pit or the pendulum or that curious Hopfrog and my mind's wandering, stagger step and whistle light, down the ever darkening road to Perdition.

Gawd whatta sentence.

For that which preceded the ellipsis, I'm still masticating. It needs thought.


__________________________________

Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2010-10-10 11:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 mention of darth famine.

*sighs*


__________________________________

There is no finer poetry than the feminine sigh. With the proper combination of emotion and thrust does she convey her state of mind. Heh.


__________________________________

Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2010-10-09 03:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

...

Did you feel better after writing this? Does it depend on the feedback we give you?

...

__________________________________

Feedback is always desirable and should always be necessary but how I feel about it? Hrmm. I wouldn't have posted this had I been sober or had I been drunk with other than Famine. Famine's a tight-lipped sunuvabitch and he gets reflective and internal when he drinks (and if he's allowed to do so) so I was actually in search of feedback. This being what it is, that I posted it upon Uber is indicative of my desire to be insulted so that I could turn my attention upon it and cease my internal dialogue. That I actually received some thoughtful replies interspersed with the everyday insanity surprised me somewhat. It is easy to forget that there are some actual persons here in the zoo when one is constantly dodging monkey poo and grumpy bears.

Yes. Thank you for the feedback. It satisfies in many ways.



Submitted by orphelia at 2010-10-10 11:58:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

+2 mention of darth famine.

*sighs*

Submitted by ChaosJester at 2010-10-10 11:21:04 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

Speaking as someone who's posted MULTIPLE TIMES whilst three sheets to the wind, I can tell you that it's ALWAYS a bad, bad fucking idea.

...

Doesn't mean that I'll stop doing it, though.
Just sayin'.

Keep it reelz, dude. It's pretty much impossible to be more emo than me, but +1 fer tryin'.

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-10-10 10:24:37 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

"is *not* getting through to her."

Submitted by SilvrWolf at 2010-10-10 10:22:47 EDT (#)
Rating: 1

The truth will not ruin anyone unless they were broken from the beginning. Write the truth. Don't write it when you're drunk. The truth can be cathartic and liberating, even if it gets shown to no one but yourself. Write it and I can almost guarantee that you WILL share it.

Embarrassment and humiliation are controllable emotions. Shame is healthy, even though we almost refuse to acknowledge that fact. It helps define future boundaries and helps us avoid future mistakes. Behind the absence of shame follows remorse and soon thereafter, responsibility. After all, if we felt no shame, would we ever be able to admit our mistakes?

Keep on the same path with your niece. She respects what you say because you've earned that respect in some way. You're not going to hurt her or let her be hurt, so teach what you can and NEVER think that some part of your message is getting through to her. Young minds retain so much more than what they verbalize.

And this sentence: "No one is so blind as are the young."
This was some kind of English to Farsi to Dutch to English babelfish translation, wasn't it?
:)

Submitted by Darth_Famine at 2010-10-09 18:34:06 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

heh I was smart enough not to post :P

Though I did consider it.


Submitted by RoadSong at 2010-10-09 13:10:20 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

So... which makes me human? Keeping it to myself... or sharing it?

Because... I don't really know.

Do you?


I don't want to ruin anyone else's life. Mine's been ruined enough...



~~~


I have a friend who teaches writing. He says "If you don't want to write the word "fuck" because mom might see it, don't write. Play the piano instead."

I say WRITE ON and fuck the consequences!

Submitted by DaBeast at 2010-10-09 11:55:08 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

1.> Yes. You're right. Wild Turkey 101 + Uber = Intensive Hangover. Oy gawds. I think my tongue's been carpeted. Bleck!

2.> I am a big ball of depression when I'm sober. Oy. Blame the Irish in me. Gack. I think I coughed up a hairball. Gah!

3.> If I vow to stick to weed from now on, can Uber forgive me?

Hangovers suck. Thanks for the input. Now I must go vacuum my mouth and roll a hawg leg.


Submitted by Shlongy at 2010-10-09 09:46:19 EDT (#)
Rating: -2

Tip # 63; Don't drink and Uber

Submitted by skrapmetal at 2010-10-09 06:57:15 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

Consider switching away from alcohol. It's depressive effects don't do you any good.

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-10-09 04:02:51 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Do I have to pay to have my name changed to vonnemurph like in WoW where you have to pay Blizzard twenty five bucks just to fucking change one toon's name?

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-10-09 04:00:12 EDT (#)
Rating: 2

Oh yeah, a rating:

Submitted by Murphy1844 at 2010-10-09 03:59:40 EDT (#)
Rating: 0

I thought your post was refreshingly honest and I think you should pat yourself on the back for being able to share this publicly. Seriously. Many people keep shit like this bottled up and never get it out and are either miserable or decide to put a fuck all to their misery.

Did you feel better after writing this? Does it depend on the feedback we give you?

Here's my feedback, from a fellow human being that we should share some sort of fucking solidarity with. Many people think the same way as you and care about the same things that you care about (including me in this case), even though other people don't give a shit. You are not alone big-boy... hang in there and please channel violent thoughts in to some sort of art so that we can all share it. :)

Murphy



Lenny: Yeah, he got injured on the job and they sent him home with
pay. Pfft. It's like a lottery that rewards stupidity.

Homer: Stupidity, eh?

King-Size Homer